Have you ever had that moment when you think things are fine overall, maybe something's a tad off, but things overall are okay...then your world just tilts? You get a call from the daycare or a text from your spouse that causes you to drop everything, literally, and just run to them. This happened twice to me in two weeks. We're still "digesting" some of it.
I (Joy) am a trainer, and I go to various locations throughout the state of Missouri to provide training for our department's employees. I was preparing to leave when my husband called to say the daycare was worried about our son, Blaze, who has half a heart. He had just come from a thorough heart exam with flying colors the week before, and now he is acting confused, is lethargic and has no color in his face. I went with my husband, Tim, to pick him up from daycare, then took him to his doctor. He had strep, along with a fever, and he picked up a secondary virus along the way. He had sores develop in his mouth, down his throat and into his stomach. Blaze was miserable and unable to eat, dehydration is a heart baby's enemy and we did our best to get fluids of any sort down him. It was scary, nerve wracking and he made it through and is feeling terrific now! Whew!
I had to leave town for work the day of Blaze's strep diagnosis, and came back home late Thursday evening. Tim had been dealing with him all week, since he was unable to go to daycare. Tim's mom relieved Tim off and on during the week. Our sweet son was exhausting during this time, unable to sleep through the night without thrashing around and screaming out in pain. It was so miserable for Blaze, and challenging for Tim as the caretaker.
During that time, Tim was dealing with a reoccurance with a stomach issue that has been bothering him off and on for months. Saturday he took himself in to Urgent Care. They gave him medication, ran several tests and determined he needed an ultrasound. Since it was Easter weekend, the ultrasound needed to wait until the next week. Tim's results needed to go to a doctor, and he really needed to get established with one here, so he turned to his family doctor from childhood. At this point I was out of town again, and my mom had come down to help watch Blaze, so Tim could work. Thursday, in the middle of training, I get a text from Tim that he has been hospitalized.
My world tilted again.
I was in St. Louis and for the first time, I had two trainers from my office teaching in the next room. They were tag teaching, but one of them was more of an observant during the training. She was kind enough to fill in for me on the spot, so I could get back to Tim.
The ride back from St. Louis to Jeff City was a long one, made easier by speaking with a friend along the way. I kept reflecting on how odd it was, to be going through a medical crisis in our marriage with Tim not beside me, and I really needed to be with him. He had only been admitted for observation and testing, but I knew we'd both feel better when we were together.
Tim was discharged the following evening with a laundry list of possibilities....and one thing that took our breath away. Something I haven't mentioned in this, is that Tim is a cancer survivor. He defeated lymphomia, which God's grace and a lot of radiation and chemo, in his early twenties. He met with an oncologiest who wanted a CT scan on him in order to clear him for the year. It didn't quite work that way, they found a mass in his chest. It could be a calcified lymph node, it could be star tissue, it could be....a myriad of things. We still don't know yet. His oncology appointment is a week from today. She's coming in just for him that day, normally her office is closed. I'm going to take that as fact she's an amazing professional, going above and beyond the call of duty, and ignore the bubble of fear that makes me question why she's coming in on a day off. I am thankful to be in town this next week, and would have been with him at the oncologist, no matter what. We are expecting this appointment to not give answers, but to schedule testings with a thorasic surgeoun for a biopsy. But it's still a "big" appointment in our minds.
So now we're living in this limbo state, with our world totally off kilter. We continue to move on and trust. There's an edge, but there's also a sweetness and compassion for each other, too. Tim is doing a fanstastic job with the dietary changes he needs to make, and he's able to laugh a lot about the situation with his stomach, which still isn't resolved.
And we're praying...for each other, for our family, for healing, for a time of peace, for God to find favor with our family. During this chaos, I got a job interview for next week and we had an update on our house fiasco, which was for the positive. We can see God moving, but we're still not sure where exactly we're at. But we do know we can continue to trust in Him.
Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You. In God (I will praise His word), In God I have put my trust; I will not fear. What can flesh do to me? Psalm 56:3-4
No comments:
Post a Comment